i feel so sick to my stomach right now. i hate nights like these. everything i've ever felt and never processed over the last few months just spills out and i have nobody left to turn to at this point in the night, even if i were able to summon up the courage. i'm a low grade asshole in a world full of pieces of shit and beauty. i don't know if i can even list it all it's just so much, i want him so so so badly but we're so young it'll never work out and he'll always move on either way, i usually expect people to leave but tonight it's just killing me to think about how everyone i love will either eventually leave me and move on or die before my time and i can't get over that i can't get over the fact one day I'LL die and never wake up it's just so sickening i hate my mind i want to sleep but i just can't stop thinking. everything is going wrong and there's so much i can't fix that is going to ruin everyone