Gender is a fuck. I've wasted too much time trying to figure out what my "gender" is or "am I trans or not?", going back and forth in circles and obsessing over the uncertainty. That's my own fault for having such a perfectionist way of thinking, in part, but... the whole unnecessary cultural construct of gender is to blame too, I think. I look in the mirror, see how I look now, and I'm happy. I imagine myself looking more androgynous or feminine, and I'm still happy. I dress in men's clothes, and I'm happy. I dress in women's clothes, and I'm happy. I imagine people calling me he/him, or she/her, or they/them, and I just don't care. Why am I wasting time trying to define "what I am" or "what people should call me" instead of just doing what I like and enjoying the feeling in the moment? I don't want to be a boy or a girl or both or neither or whatever super-specific label, I just want to be me. No shade to people who find comfort in those labels, but I don't think it's for me.