I was venting to people, listening to relationships and suicidal thoughts,I understood the both of them, suicide for 3 years and trying to heal, and never asked my crush out, and chose fake friends instead of my real friends, they mean so much and I lost them, they gave up on me, I was so blind, I wish I had a second chance, been with me since childhood,I cried over losing one of them, I liked one of them to, but ended up losing him too, I understand everyone, they don't see it, putting on a fake smile everyday so people wong ask if your ok, procrastinating, the silence that breathes after dinners, the thought of how life would be if I were gone. I understand all of them. I'm just a kid. Not even teen. Being a mature child feels so broken, because I understand the lost. I understood my mother on how she was crying at night just to hope Im alive the next morning, people call me helpful. I hope I can just someone who would help me also.