I'm so fucking disgusting. I've been such a horrible person my whole life, I'm barely even an adult but I keep fucking shit up and all my friends seem mad at me but I'm too much of a fucking coward to even ask why they're upset. I always have to hear people vent to me, I can't give good advice. I'm barely older then them, I never get to vent to anyone myself cause it feels pathetic. I keep contemplating killing myself every fucking day but I keep forcing myself to push through without help cause 'oh I'll have it all done by 25' which I know damn well I'll shoot myself before I get to even start. This is probably breaking some kind of rule but I'm too tired to care at this point. I keep trying to eat food but almost throw up on my 1st bite and haven't been able to drink enough water. I keep getting told by my family and therapist that's it's not that hard and oh 'they know what I'm going through' NO YOU FUCKING DON'T. MY PARENTS WERE SPOILED FUCKS AND THE THERAPISTS TREAT ME LIKE IM 5.