i hate thinking about the future. i've been overly aware of my existence and such since i was younger, and i've hated just planning ahead as well. i have my family, my friends, and..well, no partner :P but i know one day i'm gonna lose them, and if an afterlife even exists, i don't even know if i'll see them then. i wanna grow old with someone and be able to enjoy what i have left, but i'll have to move on one day and keep living. i don't know how to move on, and it hurts. i don't want things to change right now. i like what i have.
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