I cant do this shit anymore… I’m so tired, so done, I’m in so much pain and in such a state of constant exhaustion that I can’t remember the last time I genuinely was okay. Today my friend was talking to me about some dumbass formal event and I was saying how I was dreading having to go dress shopping and they just said “What actually makes you happy?” and I couldn’t think of a single fucking thing. I’m chronically ill and I’ve been dealing with major depression since I was 9 years old, struggling with self-harm since I was 9 aswell. And dude, every day of my life is just a constant repeating cycle of ‘one more hour’ and ‘one more class’, and ‘try eat something’, then feeling guilty about eating, and not being able to get help. I can’t get a psychologist, I cant get a psychiatrist, i cant see a school counsellor, I have no read friends who I can go to with this who wouldn’t be awkward or not help at all… I’m so fucking tired of constantly being suicidal. I cant do this anymore. Why me.